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saralee sralee scammer genius
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[Sep. 24th, 2004|04:24 pm] |
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my mom said something this morning that i found highly amusing and incredibly apt. normally she is more pc but she said she feels free to say awful things around me. she said she thinks that midwestern women feel bitter and resentful because they are so ugly. she said she has never in any other place seen so many unattractive people, ain't it the truth too. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 15th, 2004|08:10 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cynical | ] |
ok so i have decided i really do not want to work in the midwest anymore at least not on anyone's terms but my own so as long as i get on unemployment i will go apply for jobs but i am not taking out my nose ring and i am dyeing my hair whatever color i feel like and wearing what i want and when interviewed i will act how i am not how a job would like me to be and that way if anyone hires me at least they will know what they are getting upfront. also i think i should either go to cosmotolegy school or bartending school. with cosmo school i'll get better at dyeing hair and a sally beauty card but that is weighed against the whole glamour of bartending. both jobs are tipping jobs though which is cool, i should get tips for putting up with all the wastes of human flesh i come in contact with. and hopefully by next spring i can work out moving back to the northeast because i have had enough here. i am thinking rhode island because of its proximity to everything including a sibling. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 14th, 2004|10:44 pm] |
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i really wanted to call and talk to ava or alex or somebody but actually i am just too damn depressed and i can't even figure out why, even though i know its not so much me as it is where i am and the kind of people i have the misfortune to be around too much of my life is not fun and i am tired of it and i hate this lethargy that i have because it is so mom-like but when more of your life is not fun than fun what is the fucking point? like ava said i guess its good i have justin to ground me but i still wish that life could be at least good enough that i am not just acting like everything is ok to make his life good but i am acting like everything is ok because i am not sorry i woke up and i am pleased to go out and work and talk to people. because life does not suck, which since life obviously does suck will never happen but one can always hope |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 14th, 2004|11:55 am] |
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well i am just stunned, i just got fired for no reason, at least no real reason. people i worked with told blatant lies about me and ya know this just gives me another reason to hate the midwest and all people in it. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 10th, 2004|08:02 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  indescribable | ] |
whilst driving andrew to school (which i knew was a bad idea, lazy bastard should walk) i unavoidably hit a squirrel. in 16 years of driving i have never struck one of those little furry creatures and i have to say the sight of the flat body and waving tail as i drove back home has undoubtably traumatized me for the remainder of the day if not the week. stupid squirrel. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 6th, 2004|02:25 pm] |
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i am not sure today is going to work out for me, i worked 21 hours which actually wasn't too bad. i worked form 3pm sun to 12pm mon, then i came home, then i had a massive 30 minute long allergy attack during which i think i blew out some more blood vessels in my eye, then i pulled myself together, took a swig of my codeine cough syrup, and went to dicks where i proceeded to shop in a zombie-like fashion, then i came home. i carried all the bags down in one shot, but there were still 4 cases of mendota to contend with so i decided to carry them all in one shot. then i fell down AND RIPPED A HOLE IN MY FAVORITE JEANS THAT I DIDN'T EVEN GET ON SALE, i also ripped a rather large hole in my knee as well but that is beside the point. these jeans fit me better than any i have ever worn and they are comfortable and look fabulous and cost 62 dollars. is it ok to be massively distraught over a pair of pants or is it just seriously shallow? i don't care i am going to weep for my tattered garments. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 25th, 2004|03:46 am] |
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ya know its odd but most people like me best when i look healthy but i don't, people always comment on things i don't notice or think matter, a slight color to the skin, almost like a tan, a flush to the cheeks, so close to health, but honestly the only time i ever see any beauty in me is when my ribs show and the circles under my eyes are dark and deep and my skin is alabaster. basically when the bruises shine clear and the blood flows free. and so rarely does that happen becuase of my 1-inability to maintain diet and/or exercise 2- forgetting sunblock on a daily basis 3- a need to always do everything myself, no i don't need help i can lift that 200 pound desk by myself, my waif-like image is beyond me. where is some wasting disease when you need one, why am i condemned to have the neverending cold instead of some intestinal plague? i am tired of blowing my nose and would really like to start puking anyday now. i am going to apply for another full time job tomorrow, i figure if working 2 full time jobs doesn't improve my appearance at least it will improve my bank account and then i can afford to improve myself surgically and chemically. i am so unhappy right now and no one knows but me because i can't make my kid sad just because things aren't going my way and i definately can't let my mother know because she can never handle anything, she would just make it about her and actually this has nothing to do with her. so i keep it to myself and cry at work all night and sleep all day and take nyquil at very innappropriate moments. |
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| amores perros |
[Aug. 21st, 2004|10:29 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  morose | ] |
| [ | music |
| | catatonia road rage | ] |
just thought i'd share this, actually i have known this for over a week but i haven't said anything because i don't want to think about it, anyway mario said he is not coming until january and that just sucks. he said its too dangerous to come alone and he wants to wait for his brother which i understand but it still sucks. what am i suppose to do remain in stasis? he says its not so long but thats another 4 months which totals out to 8 months and i think that is a long fucking time. i know i have said this before but i really wish he had left me alone because i was ok alone and i don't need to love anyone, it just complicates everything. actually since he just told me this instead of talking to me about it i would really like to tell him to fuck off and stay in mexico and then proceed to fuck who i like but amazingly enough considering my complete lack of morals i find i can't do that because i guess i really do love him. god it is hard to maintain apathy. i hate the world that i think hates me. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 13th, 2004|08:17 pm] |
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just went to see the princess diaries 2 with andrew and it was very funny, actually it was as good or better than the 1st one. i would have had bubble tea too because miguels has that now but the tapioca was not ready so all i ended up with was a smoothie with a very large straw. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 11th, 2004|08:52 pm] |
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i got the point on dvd and my mama was thrilled, she likes watchin movies with me so lex and ava if you come across good mama movies let me know. she loved hidalgo, she even yelled to the cowboy in it wheres your gun at one point when there was a fight. i was shocked to say the least. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 10th, 2004|01:20 pm] |
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people almost never leave comments on my entries but i leave a non entry accidently and look at all the attention i get. i'll have to try that more often. |
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sagasagatale's journal
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